Sunday, December 19, 2010

Will he return the love he receives today?


Vinita Dawra Nangia (TOI - 19 December 2010)

As the stranger sat looking adoringly at his baby in a pram, he was unaware of the many thoughts that ran through the watching columnist's head. Would this child one day return in equal measure the adoration he received from his father today?

We sat in a restaurant in Delhi's bustling Connaught Place, people gazing as we waited for lunch to be served. CP always has an eclectic mix of visitors, each more interesting a study than the last. Very unlike malls that are teeming with similar looking boys and girls dressed like exact clones of each other, price tags almost visible in the premium brand haze they create around themselves.

It was nudging on 4 pm, quite late as lunch time goes, but that didn't stop groups from straggling in and ordering booze. Each table had more bottles of beer than number of people at it. Surprising, for this was no seedy joint. We understood why when we realised the restaurant announced Happy Hours to entice clientele during hours in between meals. Not that we minded, interested as we were in observing those around us and trying to guess at their relationships and stories. We got more grist for the mill this way!

As we finished our meal, in walked a tall bearded guy with straw coloured hair tied in a ponytail, pushing a pram. He adjusted the pram in a manner that it faced him as he sat and ordered his beer. His gaze seldom shifted from the baby sleeping peacefully in it. Once in a while he would reach out and pat the baby adoringly, unnecessarily adjusting the blanket wrapped around it. It was an adorable sight, one that only decency forced us to turn our eyes away from.


It was then that my usually reticent husband made a cryptic remark. "He is looking at his son in the pram with such adoration. Thirty years hence the roles will be reversed. He will be in a wheelchair as his son sit opposite guzzling beer. Will the son then look at his father with as much fondness?" The answer was such an obvious "No" that it cast a cloud on the pretty picture before us.

You seldom see youngsters taking along an old father for a meal or a holiday with as much enthusiasm and pleasure as the father would have taken them when they were small. Many do it out of a sense of duty, but few with the pleasure you would have when you take out a friend. May be this has to do with the fact that parents, as they grow up, often find it difficult to make the transition from parent to friend. As a result, most conversations take on the form of lectures rather than discussions. But whatever the reason, it still is rather sad that a son would not look at his father in a wheelchair as fondly as the father did when the son was on his set of tiny four wheels! My mind swung back to another restaurant at another time. We were in a cozy country inn in a village on the outskirts of London with some friends. A fire crackled merrily, reflecting on the smoothwith-age polished wood all around. At another table, sat a man with an older version of himself. Both ordered the same dish and ate with equal gusto and relish. Amusingly, some of their gestures mirrored each other too. Conversation was at a bare minimum, but the bonhomie and comfort with each other was palpable. Obviously a son, who had taken time off from family to take his father out for a meal. Maybe it was even a regular once-a-month ritual, we conjectured. A sight that gladdened the heart.

From here, my mind shifted, as minds often do, to a beauty parlour in Delhi. As I gave in to some beauty indulgences there, a lady just beyond let out intermittent giggles, apart from which she kept shouting instructions above the din of a hairdryer being used on another lady. The giggles were because she was ticklish, and each ministration on her foot caused laughter, much to the consternation of the impassive guy applying himself to her pedicure! The instructions were for the harassed hairdresser who was colouring the hair of an older woman. With each snip of the scissor the ticklish lady would shout an instruction on how the ultimate look should be. For the lady under the scissors was the Ticklish One's mother. When Ma emerged, coiffed and sprayed, the Ticklish One decided it was time to get Ma's nails done. Twisting and turning, causing further trouble for the Impassive One, she kept focused on the ministrations on her mother rather than herself. "Please be careful with her nails, they are brittle," she shouted, followed by a giggle as Impassive One punished her with a tickly foot rub.

"That's her mother," whispered my hairdresser, shaking her head. "Seldom have I seen any daughter-in-law bringing her ma-in-law to the parlour. Only daughters take such good care of their mothers!" Not being able to resist it, I shouted out to the Ticklish One, "Tell me one thing, is the pedicure thrilling or torturing you?" She peered at me through her glasses and said, "Well frankly, at the moment it is a bit of a torture! I am too ticklish for this...." Smiling, I replied, "Ah, so even laughter can cause pain..."

Despite the chaos Ticklish One caused at the parlour, I walked away with a warm feeling because of the care she took of her mother. Years ago her mother must have given similar instructions to another hairdresser as she cut a tiny Ticklish One's hair!

And so maybe the infant in the pram will one day look fondly at the dad who is doting on him now. Maybe he will take him out for a meal, a beer or a haircut. Maybe he will read out to him or take him to a movie or for an evening walk. Or maybe, he will burst crackers for him one day as the father watches at Diwali, recalling how, years ago, his Dad had held his hands to light the first crackers in his life, admonishing him to be careful.

There are so many ways to show he cares, so many ways he can adore and show respect to the man who sits watching him in total adoration right now in a restaurant in Connaught Place.



Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dazzle of Devi

It's that time of year again... the time to usher in Maa, to dress up in bright festive colours and to spread joy and gaiety all around. The season of celebrations is here, with Durga Puja festivities already making the world look better and brighter.

Maa Durga is not just a representation of divinity, but a personification of inner strength, perseverance and supremacy of good over evil. She is the mother, the saviour, the conqueror - all rolled into one. And Durga Puja celebrations are a resolve to invoke the latent strength of character in each and every one of us.

Happy Pujas!

Monday, September 27, 2010

The good, the bad, the ugly: facts about cholesterol

I. Sathyamurthy


It is often said that the tongue knows not what cholesterol can do to the heart. The high rates of death from heart attack testify to this.

Lipid (fat) measurement is important to predict and help prevent heart attacks. Blood lipids are classified according to their density as high, intermediate and low density lipids. Most of the blood cholesterol is carried as low density particles. These lipids have a protein coating called lipoproteins that carry them. Basically, low density cholesterol (LDLc) is ugly cholesterol and triglycerides (TGL) are bad cholesterol and they are harmful (atherogenic). High density cholesterol (HDLc) is protective and is called good cholesterol. Atherogenic cholesterols have a protein layer coating called ApoB, while good cholesterol contains Apo A1.

LDL cholesterol can further be divided into large, dense and small dense particles. Small, dense particles are highly atherogenic and can penetrate the inner wall of blood vessels readily. There is a type of LDL cholesterol called Lp(a), and in some studies it was shown to be highly atherogenic if its level is more than 30mg/dl. Many studies have shown that ApoB concentrations and the ratio of ApoB to ApoA1 are important predictors of heart attacks. But some older studies showed that a simple ratio of total cholesterol to HDL of more than 5, predicted a high risk of heart disease.

Many modern-day diagnostic laboratories display a menu that features tests for total cholesterol (TC); high density cholesterol (HDLc); triglycerides (TGL); low density cholesterol (LDLc); ApoA1; ApoB;.very low density cholesterol (VLDL) and Lp (a). What one basically should know is that TC levels should be less than 200 mg per cent, TGL levels less than 150 mg per cent and LDLc levels should be less than 130 mg per cent if there is no history of heart disease. In someone who has already had a cardiac event, LDL should be less than 100 mg per cent. For very high-risk individuals, LDL should be less than 70mg per cent. For those who have had a cardiac event (and whose concern should be secondary prevention) the lower the LDL, the better. HDL cholesterol should be greater than 40 mg per cent in men and greater than 50 mg per cent in women.

Twelve-hour fasting is essential for TGL measurement, LDLc. To measure TC and HDL cholesterol, fasting is not essential. For population studies the measurement of these components is enough. If you subtract HDLc (good) cholesterol from total cholesterol you will get the total amount of atherogenic (harmful) lipids. HDLc is antiatherogenic. If bad cholesterol levels are normal, HDL levels are of no concern even if they are low. In Indians it is often reported that HDL levels are usually low and do not increase despite regular exercises, reduction in alcohol intake, cessation of smoking and dietary discipline. In such cases, statins alone are not enough.

Lipid levels can be raised due to a high fat-diet: what are referred to as exogenous lipids. Those who do not have a high-fat diet can still have high blood lipid levels owing to abnormal endogenous lipoprotein metabolism in the liver. A thin-looking individual can have high lipid levels. On the contrary, an obese individual can have a normal lipid level. It all depends on body metabolism.

Footprints of premature atherosclerosis begin in childhood. The progression and the rapidity of progression depend on lipid levels and other risk factors such as high blood pressure, diabetes, effects of smoking and dietary indiscipline. Familial hypercholesterolemia is one of the commonest causes of increased blood lipids in childhood, and usually there is a family history of premature heart disease and sudden death. People with a family history of premature heart attacks (that occur below 40 years), a family history of sudden death, childhood obesity, and with familial hypercholesterolemia and diabetics with high lipid levels, should be strict about their diet in containing exogenous fat intake.

Statins are drugs given to lower lipid levels. They also have anti-inflammatory properties, improve endothelial function (inner layer of blood vessels), stabilise plaques (fatty deposits in the vessel wall) and have antioxidant properties. The side-effects are muscle weakness, elevation of liver enzymes, impaired cognitive function and depression. Recently, after the publication of an article in the media there were apprehensions among patients about depression relating to statin use. It only occurs when high doses are given over long periods, particularly in the elderly, that too among those who are prone to depression. Judicious use of statins under medical supervision is safe.

(I. Sathyamurthy, an interventional cardiologist, is Director of the Department of Cardiology, Apollo Hospitals, Chennai. He was conferred the Padma Shri in 2000, the B.C. Roy National Award in 2002 and a D.Sc (Honoris Causa) from the Dr. M.G.R. Medical University in 2008).

© Copyright 2000 - 2009 The Hindu

Sunday, September 5, 2010

High Spirits, Low Calories

Malvika Nanda, Hindustan Times (5 September 2010)

Drink too much and you get flabby. And it's not just the calories in liquor that are at play. Alcohol reduces the amount of fat the body burns as energy, slowing down weight-loss.

Given the high caloric value of most spirits, the body is forced to store the excessive amount of unburned fat calories in the form of flab and the despised beer belly. For those who love their poison, total abstinence is not an option. The thing to do is be smart with your choice of alcohol and more importantly, watch those mixers.

Model Ramneek Pantal says on days she doesn't feel like downing empty calories, she sticks to a clever mix of three-quarters water and one quarter-cola for flavour with lots of ice. "I never put on weight due to drinking, but I have friends who do. So, just a dash of flavour can do the trick there."

The spirit math
To start with, get familiar with the basics of different types of spirits. Hard liquors are high in calories —30 ml whisky is about 118 ml. Cream-based drinks are generally more fattening. But the real sin lies in the cocktails. They are loaded with syrups, juices and other sweetened flavouring, which together with alcohol can push the calories in one drink from 600 to 1,000.

For the 28-year-old IT professional and events coordinator Shalabh Pratap Singh, the drink of choice is vodka with warm water. It has among the least calories. "Adding flavoured carbonated water to your drink also breaks the monotony without adding calories," says Singh.

Model and DJ Iggy aka Ignatius Camilo believes that "each body type is different, so it's important you identify what works for you." Iggy drinks wine or beer that's brewed from rice, barley or hops. "I don't drink beer made from wheat or corn unless it's a beer I haven't tasted before."

Different strokes
The way the body processes alcohol varies with individuals. "Our body isn't a drum where the stomach and metabolism are the only factors at play. There's the liver that's responsible for filtering and processing alcoholic content. So when people drink, they should give some thought to the condition of their liver as well as their general health," says nutritionist Dr Shikha Sharma.

Also, it's not just about the number of calories, she adds. "Wine may have fewer calories than a whiskey or vodka, but the body tends to retain more calories from wines," she says.

The rule of the thumb for diet watchers is to go for clear spirits as compared to darker ones. And avoid cocktails altogether, unless you have the option of asking for low-calorie diet mixers.

ICELAND DIARY

By Vir Sanghwi as appeared in HT Magazine – Sep 5, 2010

It's a place that has a beauty of its own. And a relaxed, informal charm. If you haven't been to Iceland, then I suggest you consider it for your next vacation.

Sometimes the names of countries can lie to us. There is, for instance, little greenery in Greenland (only a lot of ice) despite its name. And there's rather a lot of greenery in Iceland and not as much ice as you would expect.

Before I went to Iceland, I knew very little about it. I knew it as the home of the unpronounceable volcano (pilots called it E15 to avoid tripping over their tongues) that disrupted air travel in Europe for so many weeks. I had heard of its President Olafur Grimsson, a long-time friend of India from Indira Gandhi's day and winner of the Nehru Prize earlier this year.

And I was dimly aware that its improbable burst of prosperity – at one stage, Icelandic companies owned half of the British high street – had came to an inglorious end a couple of years ago and that the country was now – in a strict fiscal sense – effectively bankrupt.

That's not a lot of knowledge to base a visit on but when the Icelandic ambassador to New Delhi phoned on behalf of his Foreign Ministry to ask if I would visit his country, I accepted the invitation on a sudden impulse. And I am glad I did.

The first thing I discovered when I got to Iceland was that there were very few countries like it (though New Zealand is not dissimilar). For a start, it is very isolated. The country is about the size of England but its total population of around 3.5 lakh is roughly equal to the population of a Delhi locality – say, Karol Bagh. When we got to the countryside, we would drive for miles and miles without seeing a soul, the quiet isolation only relieved by the occasional herd of magnificent stallions.

Then, there's the landscape. According to geologists, Iceland is one of the world's youngest countries. It was created millions of years after, say, India which means it probably rose out of the Atlantic Ocean as a consequence of volcanic activity.

So, Iceland is still a land in ferment. Forget about E15, much of Iceland is volcanic. Driving into Reykjavik from Keflavik Airport (a distance of around 40 km), I was stunned by the landscape. For most of the way, I did not see a single tree.

Instead the land was covered with mounds of an unusual rock. It turned out to be lava, the legacy of innumerable volcanic explosions over the centuries. At various places, the earth itself would seem to be boiling and hot steam would rise from holes in the ground – another consequence of volcanic activity is that hot springs bubble away under the soil.

By the time we got to Reykjavik, however, the landscape changed again.

Now, it was typically Northern European, full of greenery, manicured grass, tall trees and verdant bushes. I was to learn that this was not unusual in Iceland. In 20 minutes you could go from a sort of lunar landscape to a lush forest.

Despite their President's status as an honorary Indian, there has been little contact between the people of Iceland and the people of India.

The Indian community is microscopic and there were times when I felt like the only brown person in a land of tall, blue-eyed, blonde men and women. Over the last couple of years, we have finally established full diplomatic relations and proper embassies have opened in both countries.

Now, the Icelanders want to have more to do with us. They want Indian tourists (doesn't everyone?) believing that their country's spectacular natural beauty and proximity to London (just over two hours by plane) makes it a perfect destination. They want Bollywood to come and shoot there (it is certainly less chocolate-boxy than Switzerland) and are offering a fabulous part-of-your-money-back deal to the film industry.

For our part, we are fascinated by their experiences with geo-thermal energy. Iceland has some of the world's cheapest and cleanest electricity. I visited a power plant in which the turbines were driven by the steam escaping from the earth.

While the initial cost was significant, the plant was then virtually cost-free to operate because the natural steam was free. It produced more energy than a city like Reykjavik would need, had only eight employees and at night all employees went home leaving the plant to keep producing cheap, entirely clean electricity without any human supervision.

The Indian ambassador to Iceland told me that we had enough geo-thermal energy beneath the surface in Ladakh to run similar plants and that he was hoping to use Icelandic expertise to introduce India to clean energy that was not dependant on expensive petroleum or coal.

Iceland is still recovering from the banking crash. This is a complex phenomenon. From what I can tell, the country seems to have been a victim of capitalism gone mad.

During the greed-fuelled global boom years, Icelandic banks followed the example of Wall Street and expanded wildly. They made dubious loans without sufficient collateral and ran international operations where they paid out needlessly high rates of interest. The governmental regulators tried to keep a check on the borrowing culture by making it expensive to borrow in Icelandic Kroner. No matter. The banks by-passed this regulation by offering loans in foreign currency.

Eventually it got to the stage where some banks had turnovers that were 12 times Iceland's GDP.

When the global financial crisis occurred, the consequences for Iceland were sadly predictable. The banks failed. The government had to guarantee their deposits so that Icelanders did not lose faith in their currency. But the Kroner collapsed anyway.

Then Britain and Holland announced that they would pay back those of their citizens who had put their money in Icelandic banks. When Iceland went to the IMF for help, the Brits and Dutch asked the Icelandic government to pay back the money they had handed out to their citizens. The Icelanders had no choice but to agree or to risk losing the IMF package – with the consequence that the country is now saddled with a massive debt.

Meanwhile those Icelanders who had taken foreign currency loans found that while they were earning in severely devalued Kroner, their borrowings were dollar or Euro denominated. Therefore the real cost of their debts (and their interest payments) had shot up.

Iceland is now struggling to find a way out of this crisis (as a matter of interest nearly everyone of consequence I met in Iceland congratulated India for not having listened to the international banking whiz kids and thus having escaped the global collapse).

But it should not be too difficult to find a solution. The population is tiny. Iceland's fisheries sector is still going strong. It got half a million tourists last year (more than its total population). And it has the world's cheapest energy.

The first thing you notice about the people of Iceland is how informal they are. Everybody uses first names. There is very little sense of hierarchy. In many ways, Iceland is a truly egalitarian society.

But nothing had prepared me for the informality of the President's house. Olafur Grimsson, who had been President for over a decade, lives in a nice bungalow with no security whatsoever. There is not even a proper ring fence around the property. Anybody can walk up to the front door and ring his doorbell. It is even possible that the President will open the door himself.

When I went for dinner, I was startled to find that he did not even have much in the way of staff. A lady opened the door, served the food, etc. and presumably there was a cook who made all the delicious food we ate. But that was it.

The President and his hyper-elegant wife Dorrit are great India lovers. He came often to Delhi when Rajiv Gandhi was Prime Minister and had launched an initiative for nuclear disarmament. Since then, he had been a frequent visitor, has many friends in India (of whom Murli Deora is possibly the closest – they were both office-bearers of Parliamentarians for Global Action) and is a long-time admirer of the Gandhis.

When the Congress was in Opposition and Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh visited Iceland, he accorded them full protocol over the objections of his Foreign Ministry which pointed out that Opposition leaders did not usually get banquets hosted in their honour.

I asked him about the lack of security. Did he ever feel concerned or feel insecure? By way of reply, he walked me to the lawn in front of his house and wandered around in the open. It would not be a problem to get some security, he said.

After all, how much would it cost to post a policeman at the door? But he regarded the complete absence of any security as a statement about Iceland's openness. He meant to demonstrate that Iceland was a country with few hierarchies, no needless formality and complete accessibility.

The Icelanders have a remarkably open attitude to sexual preferences.

Unlike many Scandinavian countries, they ban pornography (though you can order satellite porn channels) and do not encourage displays of nudity. But they are largely non-judgemental about people's private lives.

The current Prime Minister is a woman who recently married her female partner. Though this made headlines all over the world, the Icelanders seemed largely unperturbed. Her sexual preferences have never been an issue and attract virtually no comment.

The day before I got there, the annual Gay and Lesbian Parade went through the streets of the capital. In some countries (the US and India, for instance) such parades are symbols of defiance, a means of asserting a gay identity. In Iceland – judging by what I was told – the lack of any visible hostility towards gay people makes the parade a more good-natured affair. This year, the mayor of Reykjavik (about whom more later) was in one of the lead floats, dressed as a woman and waved happily to the assembled crowds.

It is hard to think of another country where the mayor of a national capital city would be willing to lead a gay parade in drag.

The Mayor, Jon Gnarr, is something of a global phenomenon himself. He is a well-known stand-up comedian and comic actor who fought the election as head of a new independent party against candidates from the two major coalitions.

His candidacy made news because he was seen as a joke candidate.

Certainly, many of his campaign commitments seemed funny. He wanted all politicians to sign a pledge stating that they regarded the Wire as the greatest TV show of all time. He wanted to put a polar bear in the city zoo, etc.

Against the odds, his party won the city election (just slightly short of an overall majority) and the joke candidate was declared the Mayor.

I was not sure what to expect when I went to see him. A comedian running a major city in India is unthinkable – imagine Raju Shrivastav as chief minister of Delhi or Raj Thackeray as chief minister of Maharashtra! But he was very different from the press caricatures. Yes he is a comedian and he can be both funny and witty.

But I found him to be a deeply thoughtful person with a clear political agenda. He had never seen his candidacy as a joke, he said. He had always hoped to win and halfway through the campaign when the pollsters and pundits were writing him off, he was convinced he would triumph.

He sees his party as representing a new generation of Icelanders who have ignored the political process so far and regards it as the job of politicians to not just practise politics but also to make people smile. Amen to that.

Like many other countries, Iceland offers tourists a chance to go whale-watching. Unlike most other countries, however, it also offers a chance to go whale-eating.

The Icelandic relationship with whales is a complex one. Whale meat is not an integral part of their diet. There is only one significant market for whale meat – the Japanese, who scupper all agreements to end whaling. So, there is no major economic benefit. But Iceland opposes restrictions on whaling because it believes that the anti-whaling lobby has got it wrong.

According to Icelanders, there is not much difference between killing a whale and eating it and killing a cow or a goat or a lamb and eating it. The only argument against it would be one of conservation and the whales around Iceland are in no danger of extinction or so the Icelanders believe.

The prevailing view in Iceland is that the objection to whaling in the North Atlantic consists of an emotional appeal: whales are such intelligent, wonderful creatures, how can you possibly kill them? Etc.

This, they say, is a cultural rather than an environmental objection.

Many of us are horrified by the thought of killing horses and eating them. But the French do it all the time. It seems harsh to slaughter a poor donkey but the Italians like eating its flesh. Why kill the peacock? But it has been a table bird in Europe for centuries.

Consequently, the whaling issue in Iceland is more patriotic (who are they to stop us from whaling?) than practical. (It would make very little difference to Iceland's economy or to its food habits if the country gave up whaling.) At present, whale is served as a sort of odd-bod delicacy for tourists. I tried whale carpaccio, seared whale and whale sashimi. It was an interesting flavour, a sort of cross between tuna and beef but I don't think I will miss it if whaling is banned worldwide.

If you haven't been to Iceland – and I am guessing that most of you have not – then I suggest you consider it for your next vacation. It is cheaper than most European destinations and easy to get to if you take a Helsinki connection on Finnair.

Otherwise you can combine it with a trip to London. It is certainly cheaper than France, Italy or Germany. It is a place that has a beauty of its own. And a relaxed, informal charm. I know I will be back (probably in the winter to see the Northern Lights).

Sunday, August 22, 2010

How To Live & Die

The Man in the Bulb meditates on the dying of the light
KHUSHWANT SINGH


Death is rarely spoken about in our homes. I wonder why. Especially when each one of us knows that death has to come, has to strike. It’s inevitable. This line from Yas Yagana Changezi says it best: Khuda mein shak ho to ho, maut mein nahin koi shak (You may or may not doubt the existence of God, you can’t doubt the certainty of death). And one must prepare oneself to face it.

At 95, I do think of death. I think of death very often but I don’t lose sleep over it. I think of those gone; keep wondering where they are. Where have they gone? Where will they be? I don’t know the answers: where you go, what happens next. To quote Omar Khayyam,


“Into this Universe, and Why not knowing

Nor Whence, like Water willy-nilly flowing...”

and,

“There was a Door to which I found no Key

There was a Veil through which I could not see

Some little Talk awhile of Me and Thee

There seemed—and then no more of Thee and Me.”

I once asked the Dalai Lama how one should face death and he had advised meditation. I’m not scared of death; I do not fear it. Death is inevitable. While I have thought about it a lot, I don’t brood about it. I’m prepared for it. As Asadullah Khan Ghalib has so aptly put it,

“Rau mein hai raksh-e-umar kahaan dekhiye thhamey

Nai haath baag par hai na pa hai rakaab mein

(Age travels at galloping pace; who knows where it will stop

We do not have the reins in our hands nor our feet in the stirrups).”

All my contemporaries—whether here or in England or in Pakistan—they’re all gone. I don’t know where I’ll be in a year or two. I don’t fear death. What I dread is the day I go blind or am incapacitated because of old age—that’s what I fear—I’d rather die than live in that condition. I’m a burden enough on my daughter Mala and don’t want to be an extra burden on her.

All that I hope for is that when death comes to me, it comes swiftly, without much pain, like fading away in sound slumber. Till then I’ll keep working and living each day as it comes. There’s so much left to do. I have to content myself by saying these lines of Iqbal:

“Baagh-e-bahisht se mujhe hukm-e-safar diya tha kyon?

Kaar-e-Jahaan daraaz hai, ab mera intezaar kar

(Why did you order me out of the garden of paradise? I have a lot left to do; now you wait for me).”

So I often tell Bade Mian, as I refer to him, from time to time, that he’s got to wait for me as I still have work to complete.

I believe in these lines of Tennyson:

“Sunset and evening star,

And one clear call for me

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

When I put out to sea...

Twilight and evening bell,

And after that the dark!

And may there be no sadness or farewell,

When I embark.”

I believe in the Jain philosophy that death ought to be celebrated. Earlier, whenever I was upset or low, I used to go to the cremation grounds. It has a cleansing effect, and worked like a therapy for me. In fact, I’d written my own epitaph years ago:

“Here lies one who spared neither man nor God

Waste not your tears on him, he was a sod

Writing nasty things he regarded as great fun

Thank the Lord he is dead, this son of a gun.”


I hope that when death comes to me, it comes swiftly, without much pain, like fading away in sound slumber.

I had even written my own obit in 1943 when I was still in my twenties. It later appeared in a collection of short stories, titled ‘Posthumous’. In the piece, I had imagined The Tribune announcing the news of my death on its front page with a small photograph. The headline would read: ‘Sardar Khushwant Singh Dead’. And then, in somewhat smaller print:

‘We regret to announce the sudden death of Sardar Khushwant Singh at 6 pm last evening. He leaves behind a young widow, two infant children and a large number of friends and admirers. Amongst those who called at the late sardar’s residence were the PA to the chief justice, several ministers, and judges of the high court.’

I had to cope with death when I lost my wife. Being an agnostic, I could not find solace in religious rituals. Being essentially a loner, I discouraged friends and relatives from coming to condole with me. I spent the first night alone sitting in my chair in the dark. At times, I broke down, but soon recovered my composure. A couple of days later, I resumed my usual routine, working from dawn to dusk. That took my mind off the stark reality of having to live alone in an empty home for the rest of my days. When friends persisted in calling and upsetting my equilibrium, I packed myself off to Goa to be by myself.

I used to be keen on a burial because with a burial you give back to the earth what you have taken. Now, it will be the electric crematorium. I had requested the management of the Bahai faith if I could be buried. Initially, they had agreed, but then they came up with all sorts of conditions and rules. I had wanted to be buried in one corner with just a peepal tree next to my grave. After okaying this, the management later said that that wouldn’t be possible and that my grave would be in the middle of a row and not in a corner. I wasn’t okay with that—even though I know that once you are dead it makes no difference. But I was keen to be buried in one corner. They also told me later that they would chant some prayers, which again I couldn’t agree with, because I don’t believe in religion or in religious rituals of any kind.

Though I’m quite fit, I know I don’t have much time left. I’m coming to terms with death, preparing myself. And since I have no faith in God, nor in the day of judgement, nor in the theory of reincarnation, I have to come to terms with the complete full stop. I have been criticised for not sparing even the dead, but then death does not sanctify a person, and if I find the person had been corrupt, I write about it even when he’s gone.

I don’t believe in rebirth or in reincarnation, in the day of judgement or in heaven or hell. I accept the finality of death. We do not know what happens to us after we die but one should help a person go in peace—at peace with himself and with the world.

I’ve lived a reasonably contented life. I’ve often thought about what it is that makes people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness.

First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.

Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.

Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to be quarrelling all the time.

Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering. Since I have no faith in God, nor in the day of judgement, nor in reincarnation, I have to come to terms with the complete full stop.

Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfil you—gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully. I have family members and friends who spend their entire day caring for stray dogs, giving them food and medicines. There are others who run mobile clinics, treating sick people and animals free of charge.

Eighth, every morning and evening devote 15 minutes to introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.

Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.

Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a man without any regret or grievance against anyone. Iqbal said it beautifully in a couplet in Persian: “You ask me about the signs of a man of faith? When death comes to him, he has a smile on his lips.”

________________________________________

(Excerpted from the forthcoming Absolute Khushwant: The Low-Down on Life, Death & Most Things In-Between (Penguin).

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Rishabh’s last day at School


Rishabh had been to his school today to collect his Admit card for the upcoming Class XII board examination. Incidentally, this was likely to be his last day to the school and so, the school had arranged a small farewell function for all its outgoing students. A very nice gesture indeed! There was the usual morning assembly of students and everyone wished good-luck to the class XII boys and girls for their board examination. This was followed by another small assembly of prospective examinees with teachers and the Principal, where parents had also been invited. Some important dos and don'ts for the students for their ensuing examination and also some equally important tips for parents on keeping their wards cool during this critical period were discussed. Finally, everyone received a nice memento along with a touching letter from Mr. Sanjiv, Pro Vice-Chairman of the school. 





Friday, February 12, 2010

Shivaratri

Today is Shivaratri. Shivaratri is the day of Lord Shiva. Shiva is the lord of meditation and, therefore, the lord of awakening. Shiva is called Mahakala – grand time. Shivam also means innocent. Shiva is a very simple Lord, but in this simplicity there is a deep message. Shiva, in His Nataraja form, symbolises the union of nature and the Divine. Nataraja holds fire in one hand, representing the fire element. A damru in the other hand depicts the space element. Shiva's hair is open and flying, representing the air element. One foot on the ground symbolises prithvi (earth element), another in the air. One hand is the symbolic abhaya hasta offering protection and other points to his feet symbolising surrender. With one foot already in the air, he has already taken a step towards his devotee.

Shiva is dancing. Life should be like this. If both feet are stuck in the ground, then you can not dance. Even to walk, you need to take one foot up. Underneath his feet, there is demon representing ignorance. He is standing with his foot on top of desires. Only when we rise above desires, then it is dance of joy and bliss. The Divine energy pervading the entire creation is eternally dancing.

Shiva represents Ananda Tattva (bliss) that the whole world longs for. We can only know the secret of Shiv tattva by going within. Feeling His presence all the time is the essence of Shivaratri. It is an occasion to awaken one's self from slumber. It signifies being aware of everything you have and being grateful about it.

Be grateful for happiness which leads to growth, and also the sadness which gives depth to life. You have to surrender the positives and negatives of your life to Shiva and become carefree! The greatest offering is your-self and the greatest power is in surrendering to the Divine. This is the right way of observing Shivaratri.

(Courtesy Sri Sri Ravi Shankar)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Madhushala


मदिरालय जाने को घर से चलता है पीनेवला,
'किस पथ से जाऊँ?' असमंजस में है वह भोलाभाला,
अलग-अलग पथ बतलाते सब पर मैं यह बतलाता हूँ -
'राह पकड़ तू एक चला चल, पा जाएगा मधुशाला।'
 


चलने ही चलने में कितना जीवन, हाय, बिता डाला!
'दूर अभी है', पर, कहता है हर पथ बतलानेवाला,
हिम्मत है न बढूँ आगे को साहस है न फिरुँ पीछे,
किंकर्तव्यविमूढ़ मुझे कर दूर खड़ी है मधुशाला।


लाल सुरा की धार लपट सी कह न इसे देना ज्वाला,
फेनिल मदिरा है, मत इसको कह देना उर का छाला,
दर्द नशा है इस मदिरा का विगत स्मृतियाँ साकी हैं,
पीड़ा में आनंद जिसे हो, आए मेरी मधुशाला।
 


धर्मग्रन्थ सब जला चुकी है, जिसके अंतर की ज्वाला,
मंदिर, मसजिद, गिरिजे, सब को तोड़ चुका जो मतवाला,
पंडित, मोमिन, पादिरयों के फंदों को जो काट चुका,
कर सकती है आज उसी का स्वागत मेरी मधुशाला।


बजी न मंदिर में घड़ियाली, चढ़ी न प्रतिमा पर माला,
बैठा अपने भवन मुअज्ज़िन देकर मस्जिद में ताला,
लुटे ख़जाने नरपितयों के गिरीं गढ़ों की दीवारें,
रहें मुबारक पीनेवाले, खुली रहे यह मधुशाला।


एक बरस में, एक बार ही जगती होली की ज्वाला,
एक बार ही लगती बाज़ी, जलती दीपों की माला,
दुनियावालों, किन्तु, किसी दिन आ मदिरालय में देखो,
दिन को होली, रात दिवाली, रोज़ मनाती मधुशाला।


बनी रहें अंगूर लताएँ जिनसे मिलती है हाला,
बनी रहे वह मिटटी जिससे बनता है मधु का प्याला,
बनी रहे वह मदिर पिपासा तृप्त न जो होना जाने,
बनें रहें ये पीने वाले, बनी रहे यह मधुशाला।

 
पथिक बना मैं घूम रहा हूँ, सभी जगह मिलती हाला,
सभी जगह मिल जाता साकी, सभी जगह मिलता प्याला,
मुझे ठहरने का, हे मित्रों, कष्ट नहीं कुछ भी होता,
मिले न मंदिर, मिले न मस्जिद, मिल जाती है मधुशाला।


दुतकारा मस्जिद ने मुझको कहकर है पीनेवाला,
ठुकराया ठाकुरद्वारे ने देख हथेली पर प्याला,
कहाँ ठिकाना मिलता जग में भला अभागे काफिर को?
शरणस्थल बनकर न मुझे यदि अपना लेती मधुशाला।



बजी नफ़ीरी और नमाज़ी भूल गया अल्लाताला,
गाज गिरी, पर ध्यान सुरा में मग्न रहा पीनेवाला,
शेख, बुरा मत मानो इसको, साफ़ कहूँ तो मस्जिद को
अभी युगों तक सिखलाएगी ध्यान लगाना मधुशाला!।


मुसलमान औ' हिन्दू है दो, एक, मगर, उनका प्याला,
एक, मगर, उनका मदिरालय, एक, मगर, उनकी हाला,
दोनों रहते एक न जब तक मस्जिद मन्दिर में जाते,
बैर बढ़ाते मस्जिद मन्दिर मेल कराती मधुशाला!

यम आएगा लेने जब, तब खूब चलूँगा पी हाला,
पीड़ा, संकट, कष्ट नरक के क्या समझेगा मतवाला,
क्रूर, कठोर, कुटिल, कुविचारी, अन्यायी यमराजों के
डंडों की जब मार पड़ेगी, आड़ करेगी मधुशाला।

यम आयेगा साकी बनकर साथ लिए काली हाला,
पी न होश में फिर आएगा सुरा-विसुध यह मतवाला,
यह अंितम बेहोशी, अंतिम साकी, अंतिम प्याला है,
पथिक, प्यार से पीना इसको फिर न मिलेगी मधुशाला

मेरे अधरों पर हो अंितम वस्तु न तुलसीदल प्याला
मेरी जीव्हा पर हो अंतिम वस्तु न गंगाजल हाला,
मेरे शव के पीछे चलने वालों याद इसे रखना
राम नाम है सत्य न कहना, कहना सच्ची मधुशाला।

मेरे शव पर वह रोये, हो जिसके आंसू में हाला
आह भरे वो, जो हो सुरिभत मदिरा पी कर मतवाला,
दे मुझको वो कान्धा जिनके पग मद डगमग होते हों
और जलूं उस ठौर जहां पर कभी रही हो मधुशाला।


और चिता पर जाये उंढेला पत्र न घ्रित का, पर प्याला
कंठ बंधे अंगूर लता में मध्य न जल हो, पर हाला,
प्राण प्रिये यदि श्राध करो तुम मेरा तो ऐसे करना
पीने वालांे को बुलवा कऱ खुलवा देना मधुशाला।

नाम अगर कोई पूछे तो, कहना बस पीनेवाला
काम ढालना, और ढालना सबको मदिरा का प्याला,
जाति प्रिये, पूछे यदि कोई कह देना दीवानों की
धर्म बताना प्यालों की ले माला जपना मधुशाला।


पाप अगर पीना, समदोषी तो तीनों - साकी बाला,
नित्य पिलानेवाला प्याला, पी जानेवाली हाला,
साथ इन्हें भी ले चल मेरे न्याय यही बतलाता है,
कैद जहाँ मैं हूँ, की जाए कैद वहीं पर मधुशाला।

हाथों में आने-आने में, हाय, फिसल जाता प्याला,
अधरों पर आने-आने में हाय, ढुलक जाती हाला,
दुनियावालो, आकर मेरी किस्मत की ख़ूबी देखो,
रह-रह जाती है बस मुझको मिलते-िमलते मधुशाला।



प्राप्य नही है तो, हो जाती लुप्त नहीं फिर क्यों हाला,
प्राप्य नही है तो, हो जाता लुप्त नहीं फिर क्यों प्याला,
दूर न इतनी हिम्मत हारुँ, पास न इतनी पा जाऊँ,
व्यर्थ मुझे दौड़ाती मरु में मृगजल बनकर मधुशाला।


देने को जो मुझे कहा था दे न सकी मुझको हाला,
देने को जो मुझे कहा था दे न सका मुझको प्याला,
समझ मनुज की दुर्बलता मैं कहा नहीं कुछ भी करता,
किन्तु स्वयं ही देख मुझे अब शरमा जाती मधुशाला।


बहुतेरे मदिरालय देखे, बहुतेरी देखी हाला,
भाँित भाँित का आया मेरे हाथों में मधु का प्याला,
एक एक से बढ़कर, सुन्दर साकी ने सत्कार किया,
जँची न आँखों में, पर, कोई पहली जैसी मधुशाला।


अपने युग में सबको अनुपम ज्ञात हुई अपनी हाला,
अपने युग में सबको अदभुत ज्ञात हुआ अपना प्याला,
फिर भी वृद्धों से जब पूछा एक यही उज्ञल्तऌार पाया -
अब न रहे वे पीनेवाले, अब न रही वह मधुशाला!